Remember My Name
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: Leliana reflects on her lost love.
1. Leliana

_Author's Note: Was prompted for me on Tumblr: Your OTP of choice is separated from one another and spend time daydreaming about their other half. This is a lot more angsty than I intended, but I hope that you enjoy regardless. Also I did this pairing specifically because this scene will be in Become the Beast from another POV, although I may do other pairings later._

 _If you wish to prompt me with a story, please feel free to leave a review, send me a PM, or search for greyassassin24 on Tumblr and click on the Prompts tab._

I sit back in my chair, relaxing as far as I can, admiring the blazing fireplace dancing in front of my eyes. The agents are taken care of, The Inquisitor is out on some mission or other, and everything is quiet.

And a strangely peaceful feeling comes over me.

I rarely ever have time with my thoughts these days, the Inquisition always flooding me with new work, fresh assignments, and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.

My weary eyes flutter shut, and my thoughts drift off to my lost lover, as they tend to do whenever I have a free moment. I haven't seen my ever loving wife in years, and she fills whatever free thoughts I have. Although those usually come later at night than this.

In the back of my mind, I can still see her beautiful form, her warm, loving smile, her raven-black hair falling into her eyes the way that they tend to...

I miss her. I wish she were here with me in this cold, desolate place. Josie and Cantis are sweet in helping me cope with all the pain and loss in my life lately, but I know that she would do wonderful at making everything seem alright, even if it isn't. After all, she comforted me during the Blight, and that apocalypse was much closer than this one.

How many years has it been? I blink hard, forcing myself to remember. It was four years ago. Four long years that I've been deprived of her company, but I remember her leaving like it was yesterday. Her Blight Sickness had grown worse and worse over the years since the Archdemon fell. For the longest time, we ignored it so we could pretend like everything would work itself out.

And then one day, she woke up with those horrible black blisters that mark the Blight, and we both knew what was happening.

A week later, she left me.

It was a sun-dappled Autumn morning, where the leaves had just begun to fall from the trees. She held my hand as gently as she could, trying not to let me see the tears in her beautiful eyes even as they feel onto the ground beneath our feet. Then she gave me the gentlest, most ginger kiss of my life, and left. I can still hear her parting words in my ears.

 _Leliana, my happiness... I love you with all my heart. If this is it, then I want you to remember that, forever and ever. You've given me the best years of my life, and made me the happiest woman in the entire world. If I never see you again, then I want you to know that my heart has always beat for you, and that you mean the entire world to me._

I wish I could see her, just one more time, even if it just as I watch her walk into the Deep Roads to face her death. Just once more I would love to see her smile, even if it was sad and pained.

A tear falls on my hand, and I blink in surprise, not realizing I had begun crying. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve, and decide to return to work.

Although not before I whisper a prayer for her safety.


	2. Mara

In my hand I hold the cure for the Calling, and in the other I hold a handkerchief to my eyes, sobbing quietly.

I don't have a cure for the Calling itself, not exactly. Rather, I hold a potion that works much the same as the Blood included in the Joining, except it will do much the opposite. It will remove the part of me that makes me a Grey Warden.

And unfortunately, the risk of death also remains.

I sit on a mountain overlooking Adamant fortress. Thanks to Avernus' reports at Soldier's Peak, I know that the Inquisition will be attack for fortress to end Clarel's insanity.

And Leliana is with them.

I will join them. Maker, I've wasted enough of my life to the Wardens, and whatever happened at that Conclave, I won't support murder of the Divine, whatever their reasons were. I don't give a damn if the last two Archdemons awoke, there's nothing that justifies that.

I'm just scared out of my mind. If this kills me, I'll never see my Leliana again. I won't ever hold our sweet little kitty, Wynne. I'll never be a mother, raising a sweet little baby girl or boy, hearing them call me "mom" as they hug me.

I want to see Leliana again. I want to hold her at night as her beautiful eyes of blue flutter close, to have her be the first thing I see when I wake and the last thing I see when I sleep. I want to feel her come apart in my arms late at night as candles burn around us. I love her, so, so much.

Drums begin to beat in the distance, and I know what's happening. The Inquisition is attacking the Wardens. I can feel the discord on the air, and war horns blow in the distance. She's down there somewhere, ready to fight for her life.

I hold the bottle up in my hands, feeling the weight of it swish around in the glass jar that I kept it in once me and Avernus finished it. According to him, I should have about a half chance of survival, and a half chance of a horrible death. I'll take those chances in exchange to see my wife once more, and call it a bargain.

In the fog of my tears, I can almost see her sweet face, her gentle, secretive smile that she gives whenever she feels safe and loved, the way that she holds me at night when I'm exhausted...

That tears it. I uncork it, and bring it up to my lips. I'm already dying from the Blight. If it kills me, then at least it will be faster, and there's a letter on my desk at Soldier's Peak to be delivered to her if I don't come back. And if I survive, then I can live the rest of my life out with her in bliss.

I swallow the cure whole in a single swallow, and suddenly I can feel my blood behind my eyes. I drop the bottle, shattering once it hits the ground, and I fall beside it, trying to scream, but my voices comes out as a strangled choke of air.

I roll onto my back, gasping for air, my eyes white and wide, burning my vision. I had forgotten what the Joining felt like.

My vision begins to blur and fade, and I give one final desperate whisper to the skies.

" _Leliana."_


End file.
